Be the Best Mother of the Bride with these Tips

It may be the bride's day, but being a mum comes with big-day responsibilities!

The wedding adventure isn't just a big deal for the bride and the groom; it's a big deal for the parents too! Especially for the mother of the bride, a role that comes with many varied duties. Whether it's picking out the perfect dress, taste-testing items for the wedding breakfast, or even choosing the songs the DJ is going to play to get people on the dance floor! Being Mum means being extra versatile!

However, it can be easy for a mother of the bride to get carried away with their wedding duties. Becoming involved in every detail, eager and excited to shower their children in perfection for the most special day of their lives. But, sometimes mums (and dads!) can get a little too enthused and start to micromanage every little detail… Sometimes making decisions without the couple, or even referring to the big day as 'our wedding'!

Mother of the Bride Duties: A Guide to all your Wedding Responsibilities

To help you be the best Mother of the Bride you can be, we’ve put together our list of the duties you should take care of before, during and after the wedding day.

BE THE POINT OF CONTACT

Before guests start bombarding the bride and the groom with handfuls of who, what, where, and when’s - take the lead and answer their questions before they get to the bride. Consider sending out a FAQ list a month or so before the wedding so that everyone is on the same page and can devour all the must-have details.

GET TO KNOW THE IN-LAWS

There will be a lot of pictures to pose for and wedding budget conversations to be had. So, before the deep dive into wedding planning and partying begins, get to know the mother and father of the groom/bride over dinner or a few glasses of wine.

PUT YOUR MONEY WHERE YOUR MOUTH IS

Before the wedding planning starts, be very open and honest with the amount of money you're willing to contribute. That way, the bride, and groom can properly organise their budget. Something which’ll help them no end in picking wedding suppliers, or booking their venue.

VOLUNTEER FOR THE NITTY-GRITTY

Offer to be hands-on for the dirty work. Do they need someone to help them stuff envelopes? What about putting together the welcome bags? Make yourself available to help out with some of the less glamorous tasks.

DON'T COMPARE AND CONTRAST

Even if a friend of yours throws the most extravagant wedding for their daughter, or you recently saw something gorgeous at another wedding you went too – don’t start to compare. Your child’s wedding doesn’t have to be an over-the-top showstopper if they don’t want it to be, or if it’s just not possible. Keep your envy to yourself, and just be proud of your daughter and positive about her wedding.

TURN THE CHORES… INTO A PARTY!

If there's a part of the wedding adventure that the bride and the groom are dreading, turn it into a party! Bring a few bottles of champagne, a spread of food and offer to help them dive in and tackle those dreaded wedding to-do list tasks.

BE THE PEACEKEEPER

If one aunt doesn't talk to that uncle, or that friend can’t stand to be near a particular cousin – be there to keep the peace. Make sure that everyone gets along, and try to avoid any rowdy behaviour at the wedding. The last thing the bride needs to experience is Uncle Bryan getting into a verbal with Uncle Tony, who’s sitting three tables away!

WAIT FOR THE BRIDE AND BRIDESMAIDS TO CHOOSE THEIR DRESS BEFORE YOU CHOOSE YOUR OUTFIT

You need to see the colour scheme the rest of the bridal party is going to wear before selecting your dress. You should avoid standing out too much from the other members of the bridal party — unless the bride and groom want that!

THIS ISN'T A 'WHO IS THE BEST MUM COMPETITION'

Instead of making this a mum vs mum experience, make sure both of you are on the same team. It'll make the bride and groom feel more confident knowing that their mums are standing strong behind them throughout the whole process.

DON'T BE PUSHY

If you can tell the bride and the groom don't like something, that you actually love, let it go. Don't attempt to push them into a decision they’re not comfortable with or in love about. At the end of the day, the important thing is that they’re happy. 

BE HONEST

If the bride asks your opinion on how something looks, like a potential wedding dress for example, don't be scared to share your honest opinion. Chances are, she trusts what you say more than anyone else in the room, and she's relying on you to bring that honesty to the group. Just make your criticism is constructive, and your energy isn’t always negative.

CARRY A WEDDING DAY SURVIVAL KIT

Put together a tote bag of items you think the bride, groom, and wedding party may need and keep that close to you during the bridal shower, the rehearsal dinner, and on the day of the wedding. Be sure to add an extra pack of tissues, plasters, and even a bag of snacks (just in case!)

ENJOY A SPECIAL MOMENT WITH YOUR CHILD

Through the chaos and the last-minute challenges, make sure to take a couple of minutes with your child and remind them how happy, proud, and excited you are for them. In the end, this is the most special and unforgettable day of their lives. Sometimes, even if you forget all the mother of the bride duties above, all you need to say is 'I love you, and I’m here for you'.